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Great Bumberstickers III

It's a small world ... So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Its not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents... its how he found out.

If I can be of any help... then you're in worse trouble than I thought.

Don't look back; the Lemmings are gaining on you...

"When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail..."

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt...

"Good health" is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

Did you hear that Captain Hook died from Jock Itch??

If older is better, I must be approaching MAGNIFICENT!"

"Your future is in your hands..."
-- Seen in a men's room, above a urinal... in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

A cynic is just a bruised romantic.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

My kid got your honor roll student pregnant...

How do blind people know when they are done wiping??

Forget the bull .. Ride the Cowboy.

Eve was FRAMED.

2nd Marriage: A triumph of hope over experience.

Thank you for pot smoking.

I want to be just like Barbie: That bitch has everything!!

"Diplomacy" is saying "nice doggy" until you can find a big rock.

I bought batteries, but they weren't included.

Golf: Its like watching flies fuck.

My girlfriend can't wrestle, but you oughta see her box!

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

A closed mouth gathers no feet...

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Never raise your hands to your kids...it leaves your groin unprotected.

There's too much blood in my alcohol in my system

To all you virgins ... Thanks for nothing!

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live!

How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks!

Missing your cat?? Try looking under my tires

Snatch a kiss ... or vice versa.

Feel safe tonight ... Sleep with a cop.

Remember folks: Street lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.

If at first you dont' succeed... ...blame someone else and demand counseling.

Here are the lists:
Bumperstickers I
Bumperstickers II
Bumperstickers III
Bumperstickers IV

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