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Riddles about men IIWhy are women so bad at mathematics? Because men keep telling them that this (make gap with thumb and forefinger) is 9 inches. What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris? Most men have no trouble finding a bar. What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex. What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner? When the power goes off. What do men and women have in common? They both distrust men. How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes. How is a man like the weather? Nothing can be done to change either one of them. What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby. What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man? The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the 40-year-old man thinks often about dating them. Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins. What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date? Slow. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married. What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is? An insurance company. Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any. What's easier to make: a snowman or a snowwoman? A snowwoman is easier to make, because with a snowman you have to hollow out the head and use all that extra snow to make its testicles. What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing? Castrated. How do you know if a man is lying? His lips are moving! Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell! How are men like chocolates? A.They never last long enough B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot. What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they get drunk! What do you get when you cross a man with a pig? Nothing. There are some things even a pig won't do. What's a sure sign a man is planning to be unfaithful? If he has a penis. What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband? Miss her. Pity her. How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself. Why don't men like to drink coffee at work? It keeps them awake. Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house. Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl. Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said '18-40 lbs'. Why do men come home drunk and leave their clothes on the floor? Because they are in them. Here are the Riddles: |
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